Four Apologies

Four notes of yours.

I found shortly after.

An apology for you on this day.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man you wanted me to be.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be the father for our son.

I tried my best to raise him alone.

Painfully, shortly after you departed us;

I had to give him up.

We were so young.

I was so young.

What was I to do? Now that you were gone?

What was I to do? Alone with him.

A memory of you daily.

The pain was too much.

I wanted him to have a good life.

A solid one. With a good foundation. A good support system.

You know me. The artist that I am.

I couldn’t give him what someone else could.

You know that. I always knew that.

But as you forever drift,

Know that I will always be his hidden angel.

I watch him from a distance;

I observe him in my own way.

He carries a different last name,

But has your hair and your nose and my eyes.

Between the two of us, I’m sure he is a creative soul.

I wish you didn’t leave me.

I wish I could hear you say good morning,

I wish I could smell the nape of your neck.

I wish I could hold your hand.

I wish we left five minutes later or five minutes earlier.

I’m sorry the train came along the tracks.

I’m sorry I’ve lost you forever.

I love you.

© David Greg Harth

15.06.24.14:39:20@200VeseyNYC