Untitled (With Her)

You put me to rest

And you left me in shame

You ask me if it’s getting better

No, it’s not.

I listen to you ringing in my ears

But I don’t do the things you tell me too

I stand to be a rebel and I’m not sure why

What cause what for

Walking great white ways

And reaching my goals

Still, I cry in the middle of the night

Waking up in red nightmares of inappropriate behavior

Inhaling smoking juveniles

And taking temperature-less showers

Day room blues and January air

I’m eating sweet bananas now

You put me to rest

And I left without shame

Seeing you go under

In the hot sunshine

Listening to angels

Writing eulogies

Should have hugged more

Wrote more visited more

Instead, now all is gone

I didn’t even know you

My art hangs on your walls

And new people are lovin’ it

You put me to rest

Now you are in shame

Because you refused to listen

Or accept and spend

You abused what we had and who we were

And never said please or sorry or thankyou

Now you die alone in your own misery

Not having myself or anyone to hold

It’s just you

And me baby

The death parted us

And nothing is left

Sleeping alone

Now these days

It gets colder

And I go to the art fair at Washington Square

I visit Fredrick Douglass Blvd

To get a gun to blow my brains on the floor

Friends tell me how to position the gun

Correctly

Friends lay asleep and wish it was them

Forever

I feed the pigeons

And rise and fall

Because this is my life

And she is ashamed.

© 1999 David Greg Harth

99.03.09.15:11:00@ 1515 NYC

99.03.12.13:17:00@ 1515 NYC