Epic Battle
These monsters combat my moral insides
These demons assault my daily breath
I attempt to abide and keep in control
But the more I live on
The more I want to die by suicide
© 2014 David Greg Harth
14.03.31.22:47:12@130BklynNYC
Mistakes
I have no regrets
Except, perhaps, that one woman
I was in my young 20’s
We had a date
I walked her home
We were making out at the entrance of her apartment building
She asked me to choke her
I did
She was a twin and lived with her sister
Back then I wouldn’t go in on the first invite
I was invited
But I didn’t go in
That was the first woman who asked me to choke her
Afterwards, in reflection, that was one of the moment’s I realized I was a dom
I regret not going up to her apartment
Her name escapes me
But regrets are different from mistakes
I’ve made a lot of mistakes
But they aren’t regrets
There are people I should have married
There are people I should have had a baby with
There are jobs I should have accepted
There are opportunities I should have ceased
There are residencies I should have attended
There are benefits I should have gone too
There are art receptions I should have been at
There are lectures I should have been present at
Those were all choices
Perhaps not even mistakes
Choices led to the life I have now
And this life I have
Is grand
It is the path I have carved for myself
Even if I struggle daily to survive
That struggle keeps me alive
I need this pain to keep me going
Because the purpose I am here
Will be revealed shortly
And the last mistake will not be a mistake
But a fully crafted calculated decision
Years in the making
My longest art work
© 2014 David Greg Harth
14.03.06.10:27:17@130BklynNYC
Walking
The further I breach the border of sanity
The closer I reach the destructive addiction
The closer I become addicted
The higher the chances of full blown insanity
The higher the insanity the greater the chance I become a statistic
The chance of me becoming a statistic is within seven minutes
© 2014 David Greg Harth
14.02.25.16:17:36@323NYC
Quietly Come, Quietly Go
I’ve been summoned
Synchronized and scrutinized
Not in my birth father’s footsteps
But in the footsteps of the undertaker
These are the blossoms of life that you don’t believe in
The chances you are unwilling to take
Like the swells in the ocean’s fury
Like the gusts in the wind’s scream
Each lover I’ve had
Contracted the worse disease of all
For the day I commit suicide
They can surely say
“I made love with him”
© 2014 David Greg Harth
14.02.14.14:14:14@323NYC
The Depth of Darkness
Not even one
Knows the truth
No sister, no friend, no father, no foe
Everyone underestimates
How sad
How lonely
How horrific
How painful
How dreadful
How disturbing
How loathsome
This life could become
And when life becomes
Such a headache
Such a mission
Such a burden
Such a barren
Such a waste
Such a battle
Such a task
It seems to me
One could
Find end
Find escape
Find resolve
Find closure
Find answers
Find steadfast
Find conclusion
Quite easily
If you just look around
At the suggestions
At the architecture
At the substances
At the information
At the methods
At the objects
At the tools
You have readily available
Right in front of you
© 2014 David Greg Harth
14.02.07.07:07:07@130BklynNYC
Unrecognizable
The crimson darkness has fallen upon us
I have vivid memories of you
Courting you with everything I’ve got
With an ammunition of poetry
Lying next to you on the Great Lawn
Beneath the galaxy of shimmering stars
Penetrating your wetness deeply from behind
Your hands pressed up against the cold window pane
The crimson darkness has fallen upon us
We lost our child to a storm of resulting emotions
You moved so far away from me
Coital cephalgia still infiltrates daily
Voices of you scream a haunting echo
In the empty chambers of my heart
I was intoxicated with infatuation
Blinded by your secret allurement
The crimson darkness has fallen upon us
Liquid dripped from your inner thigh months too early
We were bound for complete sadness
Our eyes turned to unyielding stone
Everything failed and came to a complete halt
As we battled for each other's existence
Off the bridge you desired
You walked on and I fell deep
Turned once more
Your lips parted slightly
As if to say one last goodbye
The shadows swallowed you whole
And you were gone
As the crimson darkness has fallen upon me
I have become unrecognizable
© 2014 David Greg Harth
14.01.30.03:12:41@130BklynNYC
Something I’ve
She approached
With a wave and a hatless flow of hair
Her killer smile made my knees melt into the snow below
But I won't talk about that
For now
Because her intellect
Stimulated conversations
Of multiple directions
She kissed me
I kissed her
In the frigid air
Taught me well
A new perspective
Which I love
At my old age of dry eyes and acid reflux
To listen
Think, once again
Before I speak
A reflection
A believer
Romance
Forefront
Forward
She enveloped me
Briefly we thought, scared me
I checked
Her bitten hands covered in gloves
There was that smile again
Hop on the plane
Next destination
Prediction, perhaps
Welcomed observations
If she never comes back
To the circle I have become
She shed light
To the fact that sometimes
I am indeed
Too square
But she
Is the circle with no fear
The courageous tiger that stares back at you
The global beacon
Which I hear,
Bing, Bing, Bing
The educator - The teacher
Not even counterfeiting
Or dancing
But prowling with determination
Sly, she knows
With a whispering departure
She goes...
At the end, it’s all
Something I’ve learned
© 2014 David Greg Harth
14.01.24.02:36:41@130BklynNYC
Taken Too Soon
Walking on the sidewalk
Passing reflections in the glass
Everywhere I look
I see haunting memories of you
It was twenty years ago to this very day
That I lost you
We were young and in love
We had grand plans
That our parents didn’t approve of
We talked of traveling the world
Making babies and love under a sunset’s ocean
We talked of setting up a small café
Among locals that spoke a different language than us
We talked about sailing oceans
From port to port
Even though neither one of us knew how to sail
We talked about writing a book together
About adventure and sex and loneliness
Even though we were virgins of life back then
I walk the cold streets of New York
And think about what could have been
An empty typewriter sits in my studio
My heart is broken
Because you were my first
And my only
Ever since you’ve been gone
There has been no one
Remotely comparable
No matter how many times I mend
No matter how many dates I attend
No matter how many samplings I taste
I wish the Five O’Clock was late
Bending around that curve
The train was on time
There was no warning
The lights weren’t flashing
The barriers weren’t down
My foot was on the gas
I was driving as late autumn leaves drifted in the air
Your hands outstretched from the car window
We were singing together out loud
Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’” was on the radio
And that we were, so free
You were so cheerful and beautiful
It happened so suddenly
And in such slow motion
The cracking and crumbling
The shattering of glass
The car spun a few times
Around and around
When I came to
I felt the trickle of blood
Down my face
I looked at the passenger seat
And you were gone
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.12.11.17:47:56@323NYC
Roberta Smith Puts Crumbs In Her Pocket
I get on the subway at Union Square
Riding North on the N train
I see Roberta just sitting there
She is sitting quite near
I’m standing right next to her red auburn hair
Not to be compared to a Vermeer
What do I say and what do I do?
She signed my bible but doesn’t know my name
Do I ask her for a review?
Do I ask her to take a photo booth portrait with me?
Or invite her out for a burger?
Maybe I should just make one plea
You see-
I’ve been on this crazy diet recently
I’ve been doing well, lost 25 pounds
No cookies, no muffins, no cupcakes, no brownies
Because I stopped making the sweet rounds
But you see
I see this famous art critic on the train
And all I really wanted to ask her for was a bite
If only my tongue could have just one grain
From where I was standing
It looked as if Roberta was enjoying
A Nature Valley 100% Natural Oats ‘n Dark Chocolate Crunchy Granola Bar
I didn’t ask for a nibble, for fear of being insanely annoying
After she devoured that granola bar
Crumbs descended upon her transparent yellow folder which contained a possible critique
She neatly wiped the crumbs into her cupped hand
And placed the crumbs in her pocket in one smooth streak
I respected Roberta before
But now even more
For she doesn’t leave her crumbs
On the subway floor!
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.12.02.16:00:00@NTrainUnionSqToTimesSqNYC
The Ghosts We Have Become
With nothing to do
I place stories to nameless faces
Trying to reconstruct false memories
I make love to islands of women
And prevent true love from penetrating
Every defense system I’ve put in place
Falling from Hudson’s cross
I count the countless
And become just another statistic
It was so transparent and evident
But you were so blind and deaf
To all the signals and calls
Today’s decree witnessed by passersby
Aloft with yearning above my own termination
Until I am adrift with my last love letter to you
We have conceded to the future’s deathly grip
Permanently free from this perverse sense of rapture
All we have become are ghosts of yesterday
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.11.24.23:09:47@130BklynNYC
Five More To Parisi
I wish you had told me that you were about to commit suicide
These are the disclaimers of death
That we should have listened to
Before you took your last breath
Every time I leaned in closer to you
And would whisper words into your ear
The ear that I would nibble upon
Whisper words which would hide my profound love for you
But you knew what I meant, when I said every word
Except for the one word
But you knew that I was in love with you
Because I did everything for you
I crossed rivers and climbed mountains for you
I halted the world and put down my bible for you
I was a witness to your running
You tried desperately to depart
You would fiercely make every attempt
To hide the truth and seek an escape
But you would let me in
Your hollow eyes seemed so lost over the years
Kept secrets from everyone with your weeping tears
Everyone thought we were so innocent
No one knew the truth of the despair
How much pain we were in
Or the magnitude of our wrenched hearts
As we longed for each other
And each generator of our creations ignored
Despite us having our finest Sunday sword
I still yearn for you
A thousand times each twilight
And yet still I refuse love
Even when it is so real
Right there in front of me
Echoes of your haunting last plea
I am hopeless with stories of you
When you’d wake up in my arms
Crying in fear of abandonment
Even though the greatest love
Was in front of you
You were ready to ignore another suffering day
Putting treasured ink and voice foremost
Compositions of an unusual ghost
Our hearts were so caliginous
Enemies of each other
Conquering the very life which kept us alive
So near in distance
Impervious emotions
Separated by boundless oceans
You did it before I could even hit the ground
My door was always ajar
And now you have gone too far
So, I wander and walk upon this earth
Lost and broken without you
Blood flows in my veins
Until the day I join you
That day is not today
Five More To Parisi
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.10.07.01:59:12@130BklynNYC
Decade
Can’t remember the last time I walked steps next to yours
In synch we would walk
Share stories about past loves
Whilst you glistened your lips with ChapStick
And drip last night’s sex from your inner thigh
We’d walk down Flatbush
To the subway
I’d go to work
And you’d get off a stop early
To go back home
While I waited for you
One day more
And covered the windows with plastic
And put a second blanket upon the bed
To keep you warm
Warm at night
It seems like a decade
Since I last saw you
In white
Beneath
Cloudy skies
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.09.30.10:53:10@130BklynNYC
Creamed Pants
Cream stains all over my pants
I remember that summer evening
It was a hot and humid
New York City night
One of those nights I hated completely
One of those nights you loved so compellingly
We sat in the park for hours
Watched the dogs play at dusk
Until, I was quite unaware, the sun set it's last time
Twilight turned a deepening dark
City lights prevented the depth's of midnight to show
But we sat in the heat
And allowed the Hudson's breeze to awaken us
You had a cone and my arm around your shoulder
The stains of my orange creamsicle still exist
These little spots remind me of you
And the twinkle in your eyes
When I first said those three little words
I love you
We had no idea
That come morning's sunrise
I'd be plagued forever
For you
Took your own life
After I said
Good night
Last night
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.08.07.04:27:00@130BklynNYC
Anitra
Putting my obsolete pen to paper
It’s so difficult to do
You’ve vanished into the loneliness vapor
I met you ten years ago
We shared secrets and stories
Last ten I missed you grow
Went back through old emails
I know you’ve left the safe harbor
You’ve put up your last sails
How did love catch an early flight?
When our calendar’s weren’t ready
Your brown eyes were a magical sight
You’ve left us all so incomplete
We memorialize your beauty
Your heart so sweet
A smile of radiance and splendor
I am an obscure friend at a distance
In awe of your heart’s surrender
On my wall hangs a portrait by your brush
You are never to be forgotten
My hand shares the very same crush
Remembering your brightly lit soul
You were the courageous lioness
My vacant heart now has a cavernous hole
So as the cupid drifts into eternity
Know that you are your own captain
Of your forevermore destiny
An artist’s early end
My heart sinks to a lover’s sorrow
An angel will now ascend
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.07.26.14:07:55@130BklynNYC
Finding
I am weeping inside
Do you taste my tears in your morning cereal?
Do you hear my screams in your evening sleep?
Do you feel my heart trembling beneath your daily footsteps?
Scared in such a terrible fear
I can no longer think straight
Every subject and every errand
Every gesture and every to do
Every moment and every breath
No longer
Can I commit to this existence
Early exodus was always inevitable
As I strangle my cock from too much masturbation
As I slam my migraine-ridden head against the pavement
As I cut off my ears and gouge out my eyes
I cut off my tongue and offer to you
My
Very
Last
Speech
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.07.17.22:44:08@130BklynNYC
Bypass the Abyss
I’ve had enough
No more neurological exams
and no more migraines
No more pretending
and no more smoke screens
No more eating donuts behind closed doors
and no more coke
No more uncontrollable masturbating
and no more meaningless sex
No more ignoring my plantar fascia
and no more procrastination
No more missing deadlines
and no more slacking
No more being fat
and no more being stagnant
No more hiding
and no more pointless watching
It’s time to avoid the cataclysmic
It’s time to deflect inevitable
It’s time to bypass the abyss
I’ve had enough of this
No more
I can’t do this any more
But its you that keeps me alive
Only you
And since I haven’t met you yet
I’ll endure this pain a little while longer
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.06.30.24:55:00@130BklynNYC
We Wake, We Sleep, We Say
Songs of the morning starlings greet us
Silently the tangerine beams of sunshine awake us
Its light bends around us and keeps us aglow
From the open window a slight breeze tickles the sheer ivory curtains
Making them dance and cast shadows upon our still selves
The scent of jasmine and lilac fills the air
Cherry blossoms sail pass the sill
With my head still calmly against your bosom
I wake next to you
My love that keeps me alive
And keeps me awake
We carry on with our day
Knowing that you walk upon the same earth as I
Life is abundant with small enriching atonements
Time eludes us quickly without warning
Evening reveals itself in its common routine
As the night stars gaze upon us in jealous awe
We say our goodnights
So we may sleep once more
My kiss to you was my very last
For come next dawn
Wake I shall not
I have released you from my grip of affection
And I have escaped from this prison
Into the waters of the state’s divide
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.05.05.19:25:27@323NYC
Judgement
You’ve all become witnesses
Hear me now and hear me clear
Time has come and time is near
All before me now have come to this ritual moment
When time collides with existence
Mind leaves inclination at a distance
This space between becomes unnatural
Filled with fire and rage
Motionless and trapped in a cage
You wanted truth and honesty
From the deepest crux, I gave you all
My ship has departed, carried on this mammoth squall
As the ocean always does
Put up your walls and keep your locks
I shall voyage until I find new docks
Embers always glowing
A tortured soul brings awareness
Covering the innocent from bareness
Wait for the arbitrator and wait for the guardian
I pull off my cloak and lie down upon these rails
The purest heart now sails
Judge me now
For no matter my shortcoming
I’m dissolving into nothing
Dismissed into eternity
Ideal time to be fleeing
Terminated from being
Until we meet again
My limbs disconnected
Until I’m resurrected
© 2013 David Greg Harth
13.04.04.03:39:07@323BklynNYC
Alone (LAX)
I’m alone in this airport
I’m at the
Los Angeles International Airport
Alone
No one is here
It’s middle of the day
No one to be found
There are no planes
And no captains
There are no passengers
And no luggage
There are no tickets
And no goodbyes
No departures
And no arrivals
Just emptiness
Open runways
Stopped conveyer belts
Parked trucks
Chilled beverages
Closed gates
And a vacant heart
I’m alone
Where is everyone?
What happened?
I’m alone
Waiting to be filled
By you
© David Greg Harth
13.03.20.12:41:00@LAX